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Mantari

THE ONE WHO DECIDES TO SACRIFICE HER LIFE FOR OTHERS

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“For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered death and was buried…” – these words repeated by the crowd made Mantari almost smile and she barely managed to supress it and show upon her face. A few milestones of Jesus’ life being boiled down to a rather funny sounding short ancient quotation. The credo being a public declaration of faith, as well as a sign of admiration for that greatest earthly “influencer” whose fame had peaked right after his posthumous coming-out. His popularity had spread worldwide earning an incredibly number of social media likes. He was our coach, idol, star, expert, morality teacher, celebrity,… – all in one. “He suffered death for our sins” – the fans kept chanting. “He sacrificed his life for us” – commented his followers.

Having woken up Mantari found her mouth corners to be upturned. “Jesus as an influencer… hmmm…. I thought I have already run out of extreme dream-born ideas. But still I have not!”

Mantari tended to have some surprising dreams. It was the number of details and complexity of plots that made them exceptional. She would often wake up with a sensation as if she has just returned from a different time-space in which she experienced things as intensively as in the so called reality. In the time-space underneath her eye-lids everything seemed to be equally important and real. Nevertheless, almost each of her night journeys would leave her with a feeling of craving for more… Usually her dreams contained uncompleted plots as she could rarely carry on the dream to its satisfactory ending. Having woken up she was still left with an image from the dream or a line from the script. And it was the case this time. “He did sacrifice his life for us” – these words echoed in her mind in a mantra-like manner throughout the rest of the day.

So many times she could hear the line. So many times she had been told about that great sacrifice that Jesus did, of his suffering for people’s sins and all that redemption. Suddenly she realized that the usual interpretation was somewhat out-dated. It even gave off a kind of old musty smell. She found the odour so repelling that her first reaction was to keep away from it and refrain from messing with the untouchable holy words. However, her curiousity took over. “All those ancient Chinese whispers…” – she thought – “someone said that someone else had heard something, then somebody had written it down, had interpreted it, then repeated it… numerous times. So many that everybody was made to believe it.”

Mantari was not able to delete her comment under Jesus’ post. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that the whole thing about sacrificing one’s life seemed ridiculous.

— It just does not hold. Not in case of Jesus. Perhaps in that moment people who were witnessing the events could only make out as much as their mind could hold. They should have been looking with the eyes of the soul instead. I need to talk about it with someone – she said to herself and she smiled at the very thought of meeting HIM, the greatest influencer of all times.

It was years since she had stopped seeing Jesus as a crucified icon lifted up to sanctity. For her he was just a big brother, a travel companion, or a strider who had packed his luggage long ago and set off for a journey beyond time. For most of her life he had been out of reach, however, they have been seeing each other for a couple of months now in a metaphysical application called meditation or prayer as one likes. Here he always seems to be available, right after a few deep breaths, in an intimate silent space devoid of any thoughts or expectations. And it was the case this time.

— Here I am my Blessed Sister — He greeted her in his usual manner and sat down next to Mantari.
— Guess what? I dreamed about you last night. You were the greatest influencer of all time! — she said without hesitation. Your events were reaching milions, and your motivational talks have been been translated into all languages of the world. There was some hatred and some misinterpretation too… And, obviously, that traumatic ending worthy of several media shows like Has Talent or X-factor – Jesus was listening in amusement. And in the final episode you had left your audience in belief that you had sacrificed your life for them, I mean that you had given away your life for redemption.
— You know what? There is a great deal of intelectual interpretation in those words, however, they lack understanding of intentions, I mean perception through one’s heart…
— So what was your true intention behind saying that you sacrifice your life for our redemption? People tend to think you had rescued them from something, that it was a grand act of salvation, a heroic one… – said Mantari with a feeling that she, too, had been stuck in that interpreattion for most of her life.
— Never let anyone think that I had sacrificed myself. In true love there is no space for sacrifice. Please, do not look at me as a great saviour who brings rescue to the poor, little people! You need to understand that I was just helping myself and still am. It is because you are me and I am one with you. And you are one with me.
— Understanding the idea of “unity” may be challenging… Some are just unable to grasp it. “How is it possible for me, a little man, to be a grandiose Christ at the same time?! – a question still pondered by many. It is definitely hard to imagine such an idea. It is more likely to understand that I am part of him, that there is a divide element within me. It is not so bold. However, the vast majority lives in the sense of alienation, and the idea of “unity” merely means “gathering” – you know, the same kind like in a rally or street party, with some placards in hands shouting loud their lines. That is how they see “unity”.
— So, stand in front of the crowd and sacrifice your life for them, and everything will start to change!

Mantari was stunned.

— So what you are trying to say is that I am to stand, like you once did on Golgotha hills, for instance in the middle of The Liberty Square and sacrifice my own life for them?
— Yeah. Or it might be The Saviour’s Square if that suits you better… – interjected Jesus looking even more amused. Please understand that by saying “I give away my life for you all” a special bond between us had been created. You are in my awareness and will remain there as long as you decide to awake. “You give away your life” means that you abandon preceiving another person through the screen of human experiences. You cease to see the form and start to notice what exists beyond the body, that awareness which is timeless. You are that awareness after all, and that ilusion of being individual is so fleeting.
— So it is all about abadoning that habit of seeing others through the filter their present incarnation, their present role ine life’s play? – Mantari continued as if making sure that she got it right. — I put aside what the other person is, their appearance and their present role is: whether they are walking beside me or weeping for me, or nailing me to the cross. I see… our human dimention is just a transitory hologram displayed by our mind.
— You saw it with your heart. By giving away your life you dissolve individual human element – you remove a person from your scope of perception and put back a being born of God. In other words, you log out of the game and start living outside illusions.

Mantari opened her eyes. She rubbed her glassy eyes and embraced her slightly trembling body. Every encounter with Jesus has made her feel tender and affectionate…. Here she is, back in her game — a set of illusions appearing tp be so real. There are just a few levels ahead. A new experience appeared in the scope of her awareness, an experience connected with giving away one’s life – and it seemed to be a definitely meaningful milestone on her road to be awaken.

To sacrifice your life for someone just meant to stop playing with them. To log out and be truely with someone.

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