Imera

Imera sat on the edge of a pier and dipped her feet in the somewhat waving lake. She could sense a warm sunny touch all over her body. The first day of her long-awaited summer holiday felt good.

She took a deep breath, leaned over the water surface and … suddenly froze – instead of her usual forlorn reflexion she saw her own face beaming with the broadest smile:

– Who are you? – she asked in wonder and leaned even more to have a closer look.
– I’m Consciousness. Your Consciousness.
– What do you want? – she uttered in an act of self-defence.
– I want to reawake within you. I have got bored seeing you dying bit by bit.
– Me? Dying? – she shivered at the surprising answer. – I’m unmached at survival skills. – she added proudly.
– Your purpose here is not just to merely survive. You are here to live. – Her Consciousness replied calmly.
– I struggle everyday to make my day a good day.
– And that seems to be your issue. You keep struggling.
– I have no idea who you are or where you come from, but apparently you’re not from here. This is the place where everybody fights for themselves. – Imera defended her point. – And the fight goes on and on, non-stop.

Imera had been fighting to be right, fighting for her beliefs, values and feelings, for her own borders and the living space. She was fighting for herself as well as on behalf of children and those defenseless, and in her fight she was using words, gestures and arguments. She was fighting against illnesses, low self-esteem, sense of self-guilt, and people’s stupidity. She was fighting against political systems, the government as well as politicians. She carried on her fight both in the open and undercover…

– In every walk of life there’s some fight going on – She continued somewhat irritated. – And you have appeared from nowhere saying that it poses a problem? You’ve come out of the blue, have you?
– You might be right here. – replied amused Consciousness. – I am the Outer Space, and you are just the tiny spaceship which has arrived here from the galactic outskirts. You seem to have forgotten about that, don’t you? Therefore, I have turned up to remind you of that.
– Wow! I have come here to the lakeside to calm down and concentrate my mind, and look what happens… Perhaps coffee was too strong or I had one too many last night? – Imera wondered. She put her head in the hands and closed her eyes for a moment. She was hoping it was just a moment of weakness, a short bout of paranoia which might occur if you are exhausted, if you have deserted the battlefield for a while, put aside your weapon and declared a temporary truce with the rest of the world. She lifted one eyelid and gazed at the waving lake, hoping that the smiling face, wrinkled by the water surface, had disappeared. However, Consciousness remained in the same place and her grin seemed even wider than before.
– Right so. – said Cosciousness witnessing Imera’s apparent confusion. – Let us step down to the ground…. You are the wave and it is me who is your lake… How about that?
– Ha, ha, ha! All is clear to me now! – Imera laughed nervously trying hard to stay away from Consciousness’ discourse. – If you do want to make that your point that you are something superior to me, let that be. I am the wave! – Imera gave in. – And I am going to float where I want. Full stop. Will you be so kind as to return my face back to me and go away?
– But, do you think a wave can control where it goes? – carried on Consciousness humbly. – Or you, Imera, are you aware of how you opened your eyes or lifted your head a moment ago?
– With the effort of my mind and the power of my muscles. – Imera blurted out unthinkingly.
– But who governs that mind’s effort and who gives power to your muscles?
– Me myself!
– And what do you mean by “me”? What does that stand for? Who within yourself controls your mind and your muscles?
– Is that so important? There must be something inside me that does the job!
– Imera, there is something there, something that knows you better than you know yourself.
– So you think that without all that knowledge I wouldn’t make it to the shore, would I ? – she asked ironically. She felt like running away off the pier and ending that conversation for good. Everything she was hearing seemed like absurd. However, her belligerent nature to win her point and retrieving her former face prevailed. So she kept on listening.
– All the waves reach the shore. On their way they rise, fall, whirl and froth… They either move slowly or swiftly, more or less boldly, quietly or noisily… In the end they touch the shore gently or crash with a roar agaist the rocks. They complete their journey and return to the lake being their source. Then they recall their origins and set off for a new trip. Each wave wants to roll independently, feeling free, being one with their primordial self. They set off for a play called “life”, and they identify themselves so strongly with the new role that the tend to disattach from their source and become runners in a race driven by fear.

Imera thought about that for a moment. Nothing would compell her to confess that her own wave is rolling on the verge of fear.

– Imera, you are carrying me whithin yourself. – continued Consciousness – the most valuable treasure which you keep searching outside. Like a lost wave. Istead of enjoying the journey you check your velocity, compare the sizes and examine the shapes. You muffle your “self” with another race, another battle…
– What is it that you want?!!! – exclaimed Imera. She felt embarassed and exposed. It was as if someone was reading her mind, reviewing her life’s experiences and revealed the worst shots to the world. That made her feel vulnerable.
– Leave the battlefield. Let it go and trust. Nothing that ever happens to you may do you any harm.
– Shall I surrender? Shall I let the life go on without my contribution?
– You are going to be even more involved in it than you have ever been before. Let your life flow through you. Let it flow freely through every single cell of your body. Everything that is going to occur to you will be just an act of experiencing – with no fear, no assesment, no determining if it is good or bad. Not everything calls for your reaction. Instead of being an armoured warrioress awaiting tensly another blow, you will become a neutral witness of events who just watches that human game. Sit back in the life’s audience and you will soon find yourself laughing at watching people’s projections and creations. With time you will learn how to play only movies which you enjoy watching.
– What have you come so late? Where were you when I was lying in the battlefield too weak to stand up? Where were you when I was recieving blow after blow? Where were you when I was beating others in a mad dispair?
– I have always been here, somewhat buried in the mindless mud. However, when you appeared here this morning craving for calm, and this time all the more than just a brief silence after a great battle, you hushed up all the noise within yourself and let me show through you. So I smile and remind you of the fact that I am here. Ready to pull you out of that battlefield. Come back to me. Return to your source. I will remind you of who you really are. And that is going to change everything.

Imera felt sad, though in the saddness there was some tenderness she had never experienced before. She sensed a kind of proximity much bigger than she knew from touching. Someone was embracing her and the arms felt much stronger than human ones. She did not feel like carrying on that wordly battle…. She lifted the visor, put aside her sword and looked at the water surface…. Tears started rolling down her cheeks right into the water. She smiled to herself. For the first time to herself. Genuinely.